Fix And Save Your Marriage! Before It’s Too LateMay 11, 2018 3:54 pm by | No Comments.
If you know that your marriage is not the best at the moment, you are probably thinking that it could be over. Did you ever think that you still have a chance to save your marriage?
Well the reason why some marriages don’t last is because the partners actually give up all hope. They don’t actually try. They think that it is over for many reasons, even though it could easily be saved.
Even if there is only one partner trying to save the marriage, that already gives the two of you a fighting chance.
Being present in the moment and not thinking about the future is a huge step that shows your commitment to the marriage.
8 Signs to save your marriage before it is too late
Being the perfect spouse is never going to happen
lets face it, no one is perfect. Never try and be the perfect spouse because no matter how hard you try you are still going to have faults, as does everyone.
This is actually beneficial. Your partner should love you regardless of your flaws. You should do the same with them. Their flaws are what makes them who they are.
The more you try and become the perfect spouse you are going to disappoint yourself. Most importantly you’ll make your situation worse.
The reason being is because they are probably not used to you doing things that you normally don’t do.
Sometimes these sorts of changes are beneficial, but can also have a negative effect. A negative effect is if your partner doesn’t like the change.
This could be that you are constantly trying new activities with them, spicing up your love life, or even using a different personality with them.
Also if it is a negative effect be careful with things you might do or say towards them. Things you do could hurt their feelings. Not everyone is the same and some people are more sensitive than others.
Reminders of each other
Save your marriage with reminders of one another may not seem like a big deal, but they are. It could be the way they smell, a song, a joke, or even a food.
Our senses are things that trigger our memories. Our senses tell us that your partner is good for you.
If your senses trigger something that remind you of them, it means that you still love each other.
This usually triggers happy memories. Especially their scent. When you can smell their scent, it is almost like they are right by your side.
Deep down your senses are telling your brain that there is still a connection between the two of you.
Otherwise if you were to smell something that reminds you of them normally, you would probably just forget about them or think negatively.
The opposite actually occurs. You can’t stop thinking about them at that point and can’t wait to tell them.
Having little reminders of things about each other throughout the day not only sparks the chemistry back between the two of you, but also the reasons why you are still in love.
Family is first
The both of you realize that no matter what, family is always first. The best part between the two of you is your families. The two of you are family as well.
Time with each other is still considered family time. Even if you are considering a divorce, really think twice about it.
Breaking up the family can become more devastating that you imagine.
There are some things you really have to ask to yourself and even one another. This applies to you even if you don’t have kids.
- Do you like to do things with your family?
- Who is the most important person in your family?
- If you have kids do you enjoy time with them, but not time with your partner?
- Do you enjoy time with your partner more than your kids?
- Is time with your partner not fun anymore?
- Do you still love them?
Regardless if you have kids or not, family should always be the number one priority. Friends will come and go, but family will always stay.
Sometimes ending your marriage may not be the right thing to do as this could backfire and cause a lot of resentment and even things you never thought could happen.
Sometimes it just isn’t worth it, especially when you can save your marriage and not end it.
Going on dates is still a part of your marriage
No matter how busy the two of you are, you still make time to go out with one another. If you lose this, this is a sign that your marriage is in really big trouble.
Although it is easy to just come home from a long day and just relax, this it not the answer. The answer to the problem is to be with each other.
Yes, one of you may want to watch television and the other wants to just take a nap, but this is harmful to your relationship.
The less time you spend with one another, the more prone you are to a divorce. It is also hard to get out of this spell if this is part of one another’s daily routines.
Being in a dateless marriage sucks. Both of you are basically deciding to lose interest in one another and it will only lead to worse things.
If you want to save your marriage, going on dates will help. Remember the times how exciting it was when you first went out together. Get the spark back between you by getting to know one another again.
You still talk to each other and share emotions together
No matter the state of your marriage, you don’t blow each other off; you still talk to one another. The fact that you even still talk is a good sign.
It shows that not only do you still care about the person, but you can go to them about anything. We all want to be accepted by our partners, regardless of how long we have been with them.
Pretending to be someone you are not or vise versa for your partner is not good for either of you.
If the two of welcome each others feelings in a trustworthy environment, this still shows that you care for each other.
If you can accept each other for who you are without being judgmental or resentful, then this shows that there is still something there and you can save your marriage.
You still think of your relationship as a team
Instead of viewing each other as individuals, you still see yourself as a team.
Couples who think of themselves as individuals and not putting their partners first before them, usually aren’t meant to be together. Only because they still feel like they are single.
Couples who view themselves as a team are usually much more compatible and are more willing to give their marriage another go.
Just by even thinking each other as team says a lot about your relationship. This means you have each others backs with whatever life throws at you.
The both of you still want each other sexually
Even if things aren’t that great in your marriage, having a good sex life is still a big part of having a marriage.
Sometimes sex isn’t even in the cards at all. Even if either of you aren’t in the mood for sex, there is still hope that the two of you want to still connect intimately.
Showing that you even want to get intimate, shows your partner that you are still deeply connected to them.
Not having intimacy with each other is actually the worse thing you could do you for your marriage.
This can give your partner different thoughts about you and can make everything else in your relationship worse.
If both of you still get intimate with one another, it is a sign that both of you still love each other and want to fix your relationship.
Both of you still have wonderful memories together
Memories could of your first date, an amazing trip you had, a time that made you laugh extremely hard, or even just a simple meal you cooked for one another.
Memories that made you smile and happy, are memories that you will always hold onto.
When things get rough in your marriage, the thing couples usually start to think about are the good times.
It takes them to a nirvana like state. Thinking about how happy you were back then will make each other think about why they were happy and what made them happy in that moment.
Thinking about these happy moments will make each other think what they can do now to get back to that point in the relationship.
Fix and save your marriage when your spouse gives up
Should I give up?
It all depends on your situation. Usually the answer is not, but you usually know when it is completely over. The signs that say it is completely over are:
- There isn’t any communication, whether it’d be good or bad
- Neither of you are home at the same time(very frequently)
- You ignore each other
- You don’t tell each other where you are half of the time or not at all
- Looking at each other is not even in the mix anymore
- There are deeper issues that what the two of you realize
It really is heartbreaking when this happens. Especially when there are children involved. Nobody should have to go through things like this. It can really be depressing.
If not giving up isn’t even in the equation, then here is what you need to know to save your marriage.
- List all of the problems out that the two of you have
- Really work on stronger communication between the two of you
- Make a list of the things that drive each other crazy
- Give each other another chance
- Tell them what they can improve on(vice versa)
Ask them about what they feel about the romance between the two of you
Really try to focus on these four things:
1.) Your physical relationship
2.) Intellectual relationship
3.) Emotional relationship
4.) Spiritual relationship.
Realize it is about the two of you
In order to save your marriage, you have to realize that your relationship is a partnership. Nothing is about one or the other. Everything must be about the two of you.
The more things you can do together to minimize the time you are alone as individuals will dramatically increase the love for each other.
When the two of you spend more time together, you will realize that you can save your marriage and make it stronger than it ever was before.
Get rid of the bad
Negativity in any relationship is never a good thing.
When either of you talk about each other in a negative way, you are not only hurting your chances to save your marriage, but you are also hurting your partner in more ways than you realize.
This goes both ways. If you have something negative to say about them, keep it to yourself. Don’t tell anyone.
If it is something that is that bad about them, you should talk to them about it and nobody else. Their business is nobody else’s business.
If things get to the point of where you are constantly yelling at each other and making the situation worse, then what you need to do is literally just walk away until you can calm down and have a much clear thought process.
You won’t be able to think when you are flustered. Clear your mind and then come back to the situation.
If you are going to walk away, no matter how flustered you are. Do so in a calm and respectable manner.
Even if they are the person that is yelling. Be the bigger person and let them know you will talk about it later with them.
They may be upset in the moment, but later they will actually be thinking about what you did and why you did it. Your partner will actually respect that you left in a calm fashion.
Also tell them why you walked away. That step is super important, otherwise they will just think you are trying to avoid the situation completely.
They will will respect you more later when you tell them why you walked away and what was going through your mind at the time.
If your relationship has been really rocky, showing concern about your relationship is one of the first important steps.
Understanding each others concerns will help identify the biggest problems and the two of you will be able to fix them. Don’t try to get your way or if they are trying to get their way.
This is not going to work at all. Reach a solution that the two of you can agree upon. It can be something as even picking what the two of you are going to have for dinner.
Get rid of the three “A’s”
If affairs, anger and addictions are part of your marriage problem, they need to be removed immediately. It doesn’t even matter if it is yourself or your partner.
In order to save your marriage, these three things need to be dealt with and dealt with fast.
I’m not saying that you should forgive your partner right away or if they should forgive you right away if it is an affair. Because affairs can something that is big to deal with and it may never be forgotten.
If your marriage is that far in the trenches, it can still be saved, but it is going to take a lot of hard work and forgiveness.
If your marriage is the brink of no turning back, there is one solution that would work. That would be to hit the reset button on everything.
It doesn’t matter what you or your spouse did to hurt each other, but it can be forgiven. Life is too short to hate and most of the time it is easier to forgive them than it is to hate them.
Increase the positive energy flow
There is nothing better than having positive energy than being around each other. There are a few things you can do to increase the positive vibes towards one another:
- Smile at each other more
- Kiss and hug each other more
- If you have to have sex more than do it
- Help one another out with things
- Talk more
- Laugh more
- Do things together that are fun and increase the overall happiness between the two of youThe things you will remember the most about one another are the little things. Everything else in this world is materialistic, and what you do to remember each other is what matters in the end.
Category: Relationship Improvments