Top 18 Keys To A Successful MarriageMay 24, 2018 3:49 pm by | No Comments.
Regardless of how long you have been married, the keys to a successful marriage, is what separates those marriages that last longer and those are short.
Marriage takes work, but it is also an extremely beautiful thing.
Most successful marriages are built upon trust, love and fun.
If you can have those 3 things in your marriage, there is no question that you can have a thriving marriage.
Couples that I have noticed that haven’t been as successful, usually don’t have those three things.
Any of those three things could not be present at all. No matter how long they have been together.
So what are the 18 keys to a successful marriage?
Having your own identity in your marriage is super important as if you were still single. Your identity is what makes you who you are.
You should never give that up no matter if you are married or single.
If someone doesn’t like who you are then you shouldn’t even waste your time with that person.
In order to be happy in any type of relationship, you have to love yourself first. Be happy who you are, because you are awesome.
Don’t get me wrong the two of you still have to make time for one another, but you also have to make time for yourselves.
In fact time away from each other is good for you. This also makes you long for them and miss them even more.
Then when you see them again, you will be extremely happy to see them.
Being completely dependent on your partner weakens your relationship and you start to lose who you are as a person.
You will never be able to move forward and achieve your dreams and aspirations if you don’t take some time for yourself.
When we maintain our independence, we become stronger as an individual and also as a spouse.
We are generally happier with ourselves and have the ability to love someone else.
Being a really good listener
Men in general aren’t that good of listeners, women tend to be the better sex in this category.
That doesn’t mean all men are bad listeners, it’s just they want to hear what they want to hear.
Whereas women are natural born listeners and are more caring then men. It is just in their nature.
Sometimes in order for a woman to be happy, all she wants is for her man to listen to her.
Agreements & Disagreements
Another one of the keys to a successful marriage, is no matter how long the two of you have been together, there are always going to be agreements and disagreements.
Before you met them you still were your own person with your own personality and own beliefs.
Don’t get me wrong those can change over time, but there are still some things that the two of you will not see eye to eye.
That is okay thought. Nobody is ever going to have the same ideologies and beliefs as you. That is part of being in a relationship.
Successful marriages respect one another’s opinion and will take the time to understand each other’s point of view.
They also recognize that either their point of view or their partners point of view can or cannot be correct. It is just what they believe.
Usually overtime if a partner is so passionate about something, their significant other will actually change their mind about how they view something.
Knowing each other’s love languages
Knowing one another’s love languages are essential keys to a successful relationship.
Many people don’t know this, but knowing how to love them actually makes the marriage successful.
Each of you have your own way of how you want to be loved. Successful marriages understand each other’s love languages.
It all starts with communication. Your partner feels loved when you are able to love them how they want to be loved. There are 5 languages of love:
1.) Love of service
2.) Love of gifts
3.) Love of touch
4.) Love of encouragement
5.) Love of quality time
Understanding your partners love language, also helps you to communicate with them better.
Knowing your partners love language is one of the biggest keys to a successful marriage.
Accepting your partner for who they are
Although this can go both ways, it is more geared towards women. Women tend to nag more than their male counterparts do, and this can be a issue sometimes.
Even if you have only been together for a little bit, you still have to remember that you are with them for a reason.
You loved him when you first met and and you still love him. We can’t change the man but we can tweak him. Overall we have to accept out partner for who they are.
Don’t ever try and force him to change as that will drive him away. By doing this you are basically attacking his weaknesses and making him feel bad. You will be doing more harm than good.
Instead try and focus on his positives and think if why you love him and why he makes you happy.
Don’t get me wrong, this applies to men as well. Be accepting if your woman and don’t try to change them.
Women notice more things then men do. It’s just in their nature. They pay more attention to detail then men normally do.
One of the easiest keys to a successful marriage is being responsible for your successes and failures.
If there is any sort of argument between you or your partner, both of you need to take responsibility for your actions and do not play the blame game. That will just make things worse.
The two of you are adults, act like and own up to your actions. This may be things that you said or did.
The more you can take responsibility for your actions towards one another, the more successful your relationship will be.
Don’t take each other for granted
Never ever take each other for granted because by the end of it all, it will be too late and you will regret it forever.
This is something that destroy’s marriages very quickly.
After a while your relationship almost becomes like a routine and can get boring after a while, as with anything of course.
The expectations you have of your partner start to change dramatically and it is easy to lose your upbeat attitude about being married to someone.
You start to think of random things like “should I be with someone else?”, “Why aren’t they fun anymore?”.
You wouldn’t want that. The more bad thoughts you have the more you are going to take your partner for granted.
Going on dates
Another one of the most important keys to a successful marriage that is most ignored by couples, is going out on date together and frequently doing it.
It is hard when you are married because you get into a routine, and especially if you have kids, it becomes harder to go out on dates.
When you are married, you feel as if you don’t have to go out on dates anymore because you are married and not single.
The answer is just the opposite. To get the spark back couples need to go out on more dates with each other. It can be as simple as having a good lunch together or breakfast after church. It can really be anything.
If the two of you set aside at least one day that you can have a date together a week, that will not only strengthen your love towards one another, but put that spark back into your marriage.
Even if you are not in a struggling marriage and the two of you have just been really busy.
When both of you are out on your date, remember to turn off your phones or other devices so you can focus on each other.
Trust me it’s well worth it. I love when me and my spouse get to just talk and have time together. It’s like we are dating for the first time again. We all know how fun and exciting that can be.
Spark up the romance
There is simply no better way than to make your partner more attracted to you if you are being super romantic and affectionate.
For both women and men, we love it when our partner feels attracted to us. It makes us feel special an that we mean something to someone.
This all start with little things like complimenting each other, being more affectionate, having a good sex life, and even doing things for each other.
These things can all go a long way, and it is the little things that make up the bigger picture.
Always be intimate
This is one of the most important keys to a successful marriage. Losing intimacy between the two of you stinks for the both of you.
You are attracted to your partner for many reasons, but losing your intimacy can really mess up your relationship.
It usually leads to other big things and can eventually lead to divorce.
Being intimate is one the most important keys to a successful marriage because it shows that you are still extremely attracted to your partner.
Don’t be afraid to have sex and have it regularly. Do it even when you are not in the mood.
You should know what your partner likes already, but if you are still confused, you should talk to them and ask them what they like.
Women if you want to turn your man on, read this post about how you can talk dirty to your man!
For guys, I suggest you read this post about how to turn your woman on!
Complimenting each other
You really shouldn’t be afraid to compliment each other.
This is one of the keys to a successful marriage because we get in a habit of just saying “I love You”, but we say it quick and don’t actually mean it as we should.
This is especially true for guys. Guys say it as almost like it is a habit.
Women on the other hand can do the same thing, but when they say it, most of the time they really mean it. Guys say it just to say it.
There is nothing wrong with that, but there is more the both of you can do by just saying that you love each other.
Really find things to compliment each other on. Guys if your lady gets her hair done, you need to notice it and compliment her.
Women If you guy dresses differently, in a good way of course. You should compliment him.
Obviously these are just examples, but find anything about each other that you can compliment them on.
This makes your partner not only more attracted to you, but also strengthens your marriage.
If you don’t know what to compliment your spouse on, really pay attention to new things they do with themselves and really listen to them about what goes on in their daily lives.
Don’t even bring up any negativity because that could ruin the whole mood. Instead only focus on the positive things and bring them out of your partner.
You are also becoming a better listener, but making your partner think that you really care; which you do.
Know their emotions
Understanding how they feel and not just a one time thing, but all the time is another one of the keys to a successful marriage.
If you can pin point their emotions before they even talk, that is incredible. That shows you know your partner inside and out.
Just by looking that their body language, you already know how they feel. It can be any emotion.
For those that can’t pin point their partners emotions by looking at their body language, it is okay just to ask them questions.
If they are sad, be vulnerable with them and really talk about everything that they are sad about.
This goes for any emotion. You have to get them to talk about.
The more they talk about it, the more you will understand and can help them with whatever it is.
It can even be just to make them happier, even if they are already extremely happy as it is.
Fantasies are not real
If your partner is still living in a fantasy and they think that it will come true, you have to be the bearer of bad news and break that for them.
Giving your partner the reality of the situation is another one of the keys to a successful marriage
Otherwise they will never be in the real world and lose track of their very own life and existence.
We tend to bring false perspectives with us into when we become adults and for those to not come true can be hard to comprehend sometimes.
There needs to be realistic expectations when it comes to a marriage. Although marriage is an amazing thing, it is still a reality and not a fantasy.
Everyone has dreams and not every single one of them is ever going to come true.
You have to make your partner realize that this is their life and this is your life too. That you are excited to be a part of theirs and do the best you can to make their fantasies come true.
They may not be exact, but at least you try and give them everything they ever wanted.
The fact that you are even trying is a big thing in itself.
Don’t be controlling
After being married for a while, you can start to lose your own identity, feel insecure, lose their independence, or even lose their mind.
When this starts to happen they try to be too controlling. They start to boss their partners around and tell them what to do.
Nobody likes be told what to do. We are all our own people and like to do what we want.
When your partner gets controlling, they aren’t doing it on purpose. Their expectations just change as time goes on.
This could be things like how they talk to you, quality time with each other and by themselves, and even what they want you to do for them.
These are not the keys to a successful marriage. Being too controlling can destroy a marriage.
If either of you feel like you are being controlled or are being the controller, I really suggest that you seek a resolution to work it out.
This could be just talking it over with each other, and if that doesn’t work then I suggest you do seek a counselor as fast as you can.
Don’t think of divorce
This shouldn’t even be a thought. You both made a commitment to one another, and divorces are messy businesses. This is NOT one of the keys to successful marriage.
It should cost $100.00 to get married and $100,000.00 to get divorced.
Don’t ever threaten each other with divorce because by threatening them, they probably will want to divorce you. The same goes for them.
When either of you threaten each other or talk about divorce, you are only making things worse for each other.
If either of you mention the word “divorce”, it is used as a control mechanism. They are trying to bully you so you never leave them.
People always take the easy way out. It is easier to get a divorce than to work out your own issues. Wrong. It is easier to work it out than to get a divorce. Figure out how to save your marriage before it becomes too late.
Making each other insecure and feel bad shows how immature the one another are. All I can say is don’t do it.
Nothing good ever comes from threatening each other and making each other feel bad. Don’t control them with anything.
If they are struggling mentally, your job as a spouse is to help them because you love them.
Don’t think that your marriage is better than other
No matter how much any couple thinks they have it figured out, they still struggle with things. That is just part of any relationship.
Marriage is just dynamic and will always have it’s ups and downs no matter how long it lasts.
People change over time, and that is just a fact. In order for a marriage to be successful, it has to learn to adapt.
As the two of you change, so will your marriage. Having a marriage that stays the same for more than 10 years is boring.
Going through the same routine for more than 10 years would have a negative effect on anyone.
Successful marriages that last are full of surprises. There should never be that many dull moments in a marriage.
After all you did choose to be with that person for life. Make it exciting and fun for as long as you live.
Change is an opportunity and not a threat. Change is good for any marriage. It shows that the two of you can do anything and overcome anything together.
Be yourself and bring out the best you that you can be
The two of you are always going to be a team, but one of the keys to a successful marriage is to be yourself.
Don’t try and be the most perfect spouse you can be, because your partner should love you for all of your imperfections.
Those are what make you who you are. You can be dedicated to your marriage all you want, but you still need personal growth.
You won’t ever accomplish anything that you dreamed of. This will also make you feel more self fulfilled.
You will make your partner happier that you are happy, even when they aren’t as happy. Your attitude will show how happy and pleasant you are to be around.
There is also less pressure on the marriage. Your partner will also be able to be more self fulfilled.
Since they will have time to themselves and follow their passions and desires.
Don’t look too much into things
Don’t live in the past. Focus on the present and on the future. Life is full of mistakes and surprises. We cannot dwell on them.
The more focused we are and the more we are able to forget about things that are senseless are another one of the keys to a successful marriage.
Neither of you are perfect and we all make mistakes. Don’t let little things get between the two of you.
If there are bigger issues, then those do need to be dealt with so you can move on with your lives.
Life is too short to be angry and dissatisfied. The both of you must learn to forgive and forget.
This is another one of the keys to a successful marriage. We can get caught up on the littlest things and can make the biggest deal out of them.
We cannot let the little things ruin the bigger picture. You must always keep moving forward and strive to make your marriage better.
That is the only way marriages last. Partners don’t give up on one another and they’ll do whatever it takes to be happy and make it a long lasting.
Category: Relationship Improvments