Case File #: 00025
The Perp: Brown, Em
The Crime: Force My Hand
Classification: Historical Erotica (novella)
The Weapons: Escalating sexual encounters, gambling debts, and escalating sexual encounters.
The Victims:
Darcy Sherwood: Is accustomed to dominating in the bedroom, is in serious debt, and bears a familiar sounding grudge against a powerful family.
Radcliff Barrington: Is excited about the dominating, worried [...]
Case File #: 00024
The Perp: Summer, Holly
The Crime: The Wicked West
Classification: Historical Erotica (novella)
The Weapons: Widows, sheriffs, erotic flagellation, submission and some moderately rough sex.
The Victims:
Mrs. Lily Anders: the demure English widow who moves to Wyoming because her recently deceased brother left her his home there. She really likes to be punished and she really [...]
Case File #: 0023
The Crime: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
The Perp: Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
Classification: (defies classification)
The Weapons: manky dreadfuls, katana swords, Brown Bess muskets, daggers, outdated social exigencies
The Victims: Jane Austen
The Accessories: hoards of British undead, aka “manky dreadfuls,” aka “unmentionables,” aka “the stricken”
Violations:
Mr. Darcy is rendered not unlovable but awkward by his [...]
Case File #: 00022
The Perp: Ward, J. R.
The Crime: Dark Lover (Black Dagger Brotherhood Book 1)
Classification: Paranormal Romance (Vampire)
The Weapons: Lust, bloodlust, dense vampire lore, the evil dudes, bad-asses and mass quantities of black leather.
The Victims:
Elizabeth ‘Beth’ Randall: The plucky, well she’s disenchanted enough to not really be plucky, journalist who lives a rather [...]
Case File: #00021
The Perp: London, Julia
The Crime: The Dangers of Deceiving a Discount
Classification: Historical Romance (Regency)
The Weapons: False identity, wild horses, blonde hair
The Victims:
Phoebe Fairchild / Madame Dupree: the artistic, dreamy Fairchild girl, (and allegedly the prettiest) who is forced to take a job (gasp!) in order to avoid scandal. She is a talented dressmaker, [...]
Series Profile#:00002
The Perp: Meyer, Stephenie
The Crimes: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn
Classification: Young Adult Romance
The Weapons:
Painfully slow plot progression (at times)
Alternating lethal doses of sickeningly sweet love and devastating, incurable heartbreak
The beauty of Edward’s cold, hard Being, with which we are endlessly bludgeoned
All-around ridiculousness
The Victims:
Bella, the reluctant human: we identify with her because [...]
Case File: 00020
The Perp: London, Julia
The Crime: The Perils of Pursuing a Prince
Classification: Historical Romance
The Weapons: Viking ruins, a mysterious white house , Welsh amulet, rumors, fish stews, and excessive cunnilingus.
The Victims:
Greer Fairchild: a young society woman, who, suddenly finding herself dependent on her evil stepfather, decides to find her long lost Welsh relatives in [...]
Case File #: 00020
The Perp: Miller, Linda Lael
The Crime: Pirates
Classification: Time-travel Romance? Contemporary/Historical Crossover? Pirate Romance? Take your pick.
The Weapons: Magic (names and elevators), cannons, islands, the Revolutionary War and books about the Revolutionary War.
The Victims:
Phoebe Turlow: the recent divorcee who follows the magic elevator to the man of her dreams. (Doesn’t ‘magic elevator’ sound [...]
Case File #: 00019
The Perp: James, Eloisa
The Crime: Desperate Duchesses (Book 1 of 6 in the Desperate Duchesses sextet)
Classification: Historical Romance (Georgian)
The Weapons: A Love triangle (or a engagement of convenience plus a man who knows what he wants), and a girl looking to get rid of something her fiance just happens to not [...]
Case File #: 00018
The Perp: Mitchell, Margaret
The Crime: Gone With the Wind
Classification: American Literature
The Weapons: Antebellum nostalgia, plucky women.
The Victims:
Scarlett O’Hara - Hampton -Booth - Butler - painfully selfish, driven woman who vows to see her childhood estate restored to its old glory after Union soldiers destroy it. She will not let her husbands, children, [...]