Case File #: 0023
The Crime: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
The Perp: Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
Classification: (defies classification)
The Weapons: manky dreadfuls, katana swords, Brown Bess muskets, daggers, outdated social exigencies
The Victims: Jane Austen
The Accessories: hoards of British undead, aka “manky dreadfuls,” aka “unmentionables,” aka “the stricken”
Violations:
Mr. Darcy is rendered not unlovable but awkward by his [...]
Series Profile#:00002
The Perp: Meyer, Stephenie
The Crimes: Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn
Classification: Young Adult Romance
The Weapons:
Painfully slow plot progression (at times)
Alternating lethal doses of sickeningly sweet love and devastating, incurable heartbreak
The beauty of Edward’s cold, hard Being, with which we are endlessly bludgeoned
All-around ridiculousness
The Victims:
Bella, the reluctant human: we identify with her because [...]
Case File #: 00008
The Perp: Leroux, Gaston
The Crime: The Phantom of the Opera
Classification: Classic Romance
The Victims:
Erik: The Opera Ghost, “king of stranglers, prince of conjurors,” demigod and siren, monster and lowest of the low. Oh yes, and he’s unspeakably ugly.
Christine Daaé: an opera singer. A feeble-minded, silly little fool; unworthy object of the [...]